Sadly,I'm Smiling on the Inside

To shoot and kill someone in cold blood is an awful thing. It takes a special kind of rage to act out such vengeance. This is nothing to be proud of, even if the act of vengeance is due to the repeated abuse and murder of one's own people. I know this, I am a morally responsible person, so why do I feel the tug of satisfaction  when I hear that 2 police officers were gunned down while sitting in there vehicle by a man who stated it was in retaliation for recent police killings of unarmed Black men? I know its wrong yet I am not sad, disappointed, or feel enraged by this act of violence. Murder is murder there is no justification in such an act but, the hard truth is I wanted payback, I wanted the police to feel that sting that we feel all to often. In the dark recesses of my mind I image the gunman not killing himself, as this one did, but instead calmly calling in shots fired, waiting to be arrested, then 8 weeks later hearing the announcement that the shooter with not be prosecuted and acquitted of all charges.
The Police are enraged over this incident, blaming the media's lack of discretion and bias when describing officers, how the judicial system has felled them, and leaving them wondering if the system is designed to protect them or leave them helpless in the hands of those who view and treat them as a threat.
Maybe this is why I'm smiling on the inside because I know now they understand how it feels to be gunned down because of what clothes you are wearing or what color or culture you represent. Maybe I'm smiling because they now know how it feels to be us. Looking at city officials for a solution and getting back excuses and BS explainations.
I'm not smiling because to men are dead, I am smiling because I know now they know what it feels like to have someone say "show restraint", "trust the system", "justice will be served", and my favorite, "the defendant deserves due process and is innocent until proven guilty".
My smile is knowing that they have now put on our shoes and have to walk in them for a few miles. The only thing that I am disappointed in is that the shooting wasn't video taped by an innocent by stander and played continuously over a course of several weeks so the family have the distinct pleasure of reliving their loved ones death over and over again.
To the families of the slain officers God Bless You.
To the Police Departments across the country, did you honestly think that everyone would simply turn the other cheek? Welcome to our world.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/2-cops-ambushed-fatally-shot-in-car-gunman-kills-himself/ar-BBh3g1E
http://m.youtube.com/?client=mv-verizon-us

My Personal Experiences with the Police

Me and a buddy are in front of a friends house talking to a woman we knew while she was parked in her car. I was standing on the street side of the car leaning in the window as she was giving us a wedding invitations. A cop drives by, stops, reverse back to us, gets out of his car, and without saying a word slams me up against the hood. I knew what he was thinking so I say "I'm not selling anything!" He says " yea, right". He finds nothing and out of frustration arrest me for obstruction of traffic. Charges were later dropped.
Coming out of a club in Milwaukee, as I am crossing the street with about 50 other people, a police officer gets on the loud speaker and orders everyone out of the street. I comply, but being in the middle of the street I continue to cross. Cop puts me in cuffs, curses, disrespects me, pushes me around a little, then let's me go.
I got pulled over for having a headlight out. Cop takes one look at me and says "where is the bud?" I say " please dont start with the bull". He asked me to step out of my vehicle, I asked " am I being detained?". He tells me no but hr wants yo perform a field sobriety test. I tell  " no, but I will gladly take a blow test". He threatens me with jail, so I comply, at the same time his partner goes in my car for the illegal search. They find nothing and let me go. The funny thing is they never frisked me, if I did have anything on my person ( which I didn't) they sure drop the ball.
Had an argument with my girl late one night, police were called. First responder is calm and respectful, as I calmly explained the childish behavior we were exhibiting, another officer pulls up walks right up to me and starts trying to intimidate me, it does not work, he pits me in cuffs and violently put me in the squad car, I'm arrested and booked in. The me y morning I show up to court to find out I was being charged for with domestic violence. After 5 continuations, the judge would not provide me a public defender the first 3 times, once he didn't like my outfit, and the other was because the prosecutor had no arrest record or formal charges! On the 6th appearance the prosecutor tells the judge " I have no idea why this young man is here all I have is a Domestic violence charge but no witness or officer statement." They then ask my Lady, who was on court in court with me, if I hit her, threatened her or anything that could draw a case, she tells them without a doubt no!! That's when the prosecutor asked to dismiss the case, the officer gets up and storms out, and the judge stands up and starts yelling at the prosecutor about how he has wasted court time and state money!! Yea he actually stood up and started yelling, you could here a pin drop. The public defender looks at me as tells me I'm free to go. I was afraid to move, in fear of being tackled and cuffed by the bailiffs ( you just can't make this stuff up). My lawyer convinces me its OK so I walk out of the court room. The arresting officer is waiting for me in the hallway. He walks up to and says "I will see you again!" My response " only if you show up to your mommas house after 10". I could literally see the smoke coming out of his ears.
The police, abusive? Yes. Aggressive? Yes. Remorseful for their corrupt and harmful ways? No.
The thing is I have about 10 more personal experiences that all come out the same way, and I'm just one man. Imagine how many instances we all collectively....this is why there is such a divide between the police and the public they are sworn to protect.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h2YgZX9Thm0

My first experience with the Wu-Tang Clan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uv03vgZf18
Today I had the pleasure of letting my head nod to the new release of the Wu-Tang Clan's "A Better Tomorrow", 21 years after having my first experience with this dynamic group of emcee's.  The great thing about music is that really good music places this stamp on memory that is permanent. The same as certain sights, smells, and touches trigger ancient memories that we might have thought was long buried within our own subconscious. Good music triggers memories, rather good or bad, that we have no control over they are just there.
In 1993 I had just turned 18 and was attending my first year of community college at College of Lake County. Now, most of the student population would sit out in the general gathering area inside the main building playing cards, telling jokes, and listening to music while we decided if we were going to class that day. Of course the topic of the group I hung around with was usually girls or music. On this particular day I can vividly remember it was sunny and pleasant. My boy Mike B. comes up to me and was like "Tremayne, how do you like that new crew Wu-Tang Clan?" I kind of laughed thinking to myself that what kind of wack crew would name themselves after a kung-fu movie? He could tell what I was thinking and gave me that look like, I know you claim to be a B-Boy and you haven't heard this yet, ya' slippin'. So he simply said, "this is the best sh*t I have ever heard!"
(For all you younger heads out there the next few sentences might not make much sense to you, but you older heads will relate to this.).
So I say to him "let me borrow your tape?" He gives me this look like, Hell No! See back then loaning a cassette tape was a risky scenario, give your cassette tape to some one with a wack radio, you run the risk of the tape being eaten "never put me in ya box if ya shi*t eat tapes" (Nas, "N.Y. state of Mind), or worse you never see that person again. If it wasn't for the fact that he understood my respect for music and the laws of borrowing tapes, he would have never let it go down. So the condition was simple, He had class for an about 1 and a half hours, that's all the time he could give, again raising my curiosity, because he was like this tape is like gold right. The problem was I also had class, so how would I be able to listen to the tape? Only one option, that's right, skip class and listen to it in my ride.
I stroll to my car, unlock the doors, get in, key in the ignition, pop the tape in, hit rewind, and I sit back expecting who knows what. For everyone that has heard the "Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)" album the first thing you here is that infamous Wu-tang sample:
"Shaolin shadow boxing, in the Wu-tang sword style...If what you say is true the Shaolin and the Wu-Tang could be dangerous. Do you think your Wu-Tang sword can defeat me... en guard I will let you try my Wu-Tang style" Then the that first 8 bars kicks in followed by, to me, only the second best lyrical intro to an album next to Nas' intro on the classic "Illimatic" album.
" Ghostface, catch the blast of a hype verse, my glock burst
leaving a hearse, I did worse
I come rough, tough like an elephant tusk
Ya' head rush, fly like Egyptian musk..."
Immediately, I am in full shock and awe over the precise lyrical content, razor sharp terminology, and the sheer genius of the production.
No where in my thought process could I have imagined 20 years later I would be getting that same feeling from the same group of emcee's while sitting in my car. The truth is that I was hooked from the beginning and thanks to the persistence of these great artist, after 2 decades and numerous solo and group projects I am still a fiend for this raw, spiritual, street based sound that the Wu has consistently beat into my ear drums. They have unknowingly created a sound track to some selective memories that swell up in my head every time I bump some Wu. I hope that you have the same connection and memories associated with an art form that impacts you in a positive way, the way Hip-Hop has impacted myself and so many others around me.
Bring the Muthaf*ckin Ruckus,Bring the Muthaf*ckin Ruckus!!!

The U.N. Recognizes the Brutality of the Police

    "We express concern at the reported current police violence in Chicago, especially against African-American and Latino young people, and deep concern at the frequent and recurrent police shootings or fatal pursuit of unarmed black individuals," said Alessio Bruni, a member of the panel and a lead investigator in the review of U.S. compliance with the 1984 Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment. The U.S. ratified the 156-member-country convention in 1994.

      For those who might say that the grand jury finding in the Michael Brown case gives justification that people of color in this country are embellishing the truth about how we are treated by the police, An independent U.N. anti-torture panel thinks that that  "This (U.N.) report — along with the voices of Americans protesting around the country this week — is a wake-up call for police who think they can act with impunity," said Jamil Dakwar, the director of human rights at the American Civil Liberties Union.
      In other words, these riots and others like them happen because of the peoples growing frustration of the Police departments view, judgment, and treatment of people of color.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/us-shootings-by-police-prison-conditions-trouble-un/ar-BBg6VEw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D336fH5D34M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUNoXR434r0

One of my favorite Emcee's getting busy over a DJ Premier track. Drop me some links to some new fresh freestyles if you got 'em!

And So "It" Begins

And so “it” begins… The outrage, the anger, the sadness, the finger pointing, the justifications, turmoil, arguments, racist remarks, assumptions, and the violence. The question I have is; what is “it”? What is this that we are all apart of? No matter what your beliefs, color, culture. Socio-economic, sex, sexual orientation, etc. we are in the thick of “it”. “It” can begin like a gathering of clouds off the coast, we see “it” forming, we know “it” is coming, and we quietly begin to face the fact that “it’s” going to hit home and hit hard. So what is “it”?

To put “it” lightly, “It” is the truth walking right up to us and clubbing us over the head with a brick. “It” is that force, reality, that gorilla in the room that we have been ignoring. The scariest part of “it” is that “it” is you and me.  Yes, You and Me! I know some of you are unconsciously looking over your shoulder around the room with that, “Who me?” look on your face, Yes You.

We are “it”, this is the reality that we have created. Some of us will look it “it” with discontent, others will apply violence, some will play passive, others will run and hide, and only a few cooler heads will prevail. By our own selfishness we see the problem and apply justifications to why it exist instead of applying unselfish solutions to the problem.

“It” does not matter what side of the fence you are on good or bad, Muslim or Jew, for or against the Police, pro-choice or pro-life, Democrat or Republican when people die it’s a problem for everyone. Now, there is no doubt that there are just some bad people on this planet, but the good people far outweigh the bad. So when “it” starts brewing why does “it” seems that the bad in “it “always succeeds?

“It” might need a burning of a city to get us to face the reality of the storm that we have been ignoring for so long. “It” might be a way of telling us how unprepared we are for this type of storm, how our focus on petty disagreements kept us from focusing on how to prepare our family, homes, and selves from this type of storm. Now that the rain has begun we realize that we lack the tools, supplies, understanding, direction, and aptitude to weather the storm. So, our only option is to act in ways that degrade our human nature, belittle us, and lessen us as a people.

“It” is the racist remarks in victory and defeat, “it” is the looting and the violence to your own community, “it” is the death of a youth, the rape of a young girl, a terrorist act, the withholding of education, “it” can be a terrible thing.

“It” can also be that glimpse of hope, the uniting of a people, the passing of a law, and the feeding of the poor. “It” is peace, love, and understanding “it” is the honest judgment, a fair trial, justice, and equality. Let “it” begin, do not let “it” begin for the advancement of negativity, but let “it begin for the benefit of humanity.

Reason #7 Different Gang Affiliation

    Before I get into this what I first must do is go over what is the purpose of a gang. Kids just don't get together and say " Hey let's start a violent street gang!". Gangs are formed for basically 2 reason; money and protection. The protection part usually has to do with a group of kids who are in a neighborhood that doesn't except there presence. History shows that in Chicago the first street gangs were formed by neighborhood kids who were being harassed or "beat up" for walking on the wrong side of the tracks. Example, Spanish and black street gangs in Chicago started partly because these kids needed protection from other neighborhood kids so they would form a sort of union agreeing that they would not let any other person come into there neighborhood and terrorize them. Then there is money. Once these same kids, usually from poor communities, realized that by taking advantage of the significant drug problems that usually comes along with leaving in a poor community, that they could make a good profit. Now, I realize that this is not all the reasons why gangs exist but that is a conversation for another day.
     The problem comes into play when your gang starts selling your drugs in my neighborhood. The concern isn't about this person killing my community, but more of you are cutting into my profit margin. The evil in this is that it is usually the gang elders that send the commands and set the rules for how each corner is handled and the young ones who are on the front lines of the violence. This is why you rarely see men over the age of 25 that are killed or wanted for the homicide charge. Usually the older gang members get caught up on trafficking charges or running a criminal organization.
The fact that these elder gang members arm these young kids with weapons that weigh more than the kids do shows how little they care about their so called"family".
     Think of it like this; you have a kid brother, you love this kid and you want to protect him, teach him how to be smart, how to be a man, how to survive in this rough world. The way you teach him this is by being independent, how to earn for himself. So you say "come here little brother, let me show you how it's done.". You then teach him how to way cocaine, transform it into crack rocks, how to hide it, and where to stand to sell the most product. You then give him a gun and you tell him to shoot anyone that we have not agreed to sell on this corner. Now, you never taught him how to use the gun, you never explained to him how to use restraint. So what happens? He see some new kid he never seen before on his corner and POW! Unfortunately he misses his target and shoots the 8 year old girl playing double dutch (my Midwest peeps know what this is). Turns out the kid he was aiming for was just new to the neighborhood, this kid old neighborhood had a gang that was bigger and stronger than yours. The kid is also smart and he recognizes your kid brother. He calls up a couple of his homeboys from his old block and they come through drive by style, they roll down your street with an automatic weapon. In the aftermath your cousin, a friend, the old lady down the street is shot dead. Your kid brother escapes but is later arrested for the murder of the eight year old girl. You in a rage get your boys and go to the other neighborhood and unleash your fury in the same fashion on their block. Now the back and forth begins, you shot someone so they join the other gang to come after you. They miss you shoot someone else, you recruit that person and so on and so on.
      My gang was the Phulisch Mortals, we didn't shoot our enemies, instead we would have break dancing battles and rap battles. I would do my best to disrespect you in the worst possible way through dance and poetry, and someone would attempt to do the same thing to me and boys. The difference is after totally disrespecting this other person, he and never had to worry about retaliation by fist or guns. Remember the scene in "BeatStreet" when the two rival gangs ran into each other in a subway station? All the innocent people running for their lives only to be confused by the boom box and the sudden start of break dancing. This is how all gang conflicts should be solved, if you lose you would have to go home and work on better dance moves or improve you vocabulary in order to deal with a person like me who could freestyle over any instrumental while ridiculing you. I never looked over my shoulder, more importantly the kid I was "battling" never had to either. We might even see each other on the street and give each other a hand shake and hug. Gangs have a hip-hop back ground, I don't know any kid in a gang that listens pop music or country or anything other than hip hop. So the gangs should act in a hip hop manner expanding peace, cultural awareness, spirituality, diversity, and knowledge of self. Not death, sex, drugs!

Reasons 20-30

20. Step on my Shoes
21. Dancing with my girl
22. We fight and I lose
23. We and I win
24. Road Rage
26. You embarrassed me
27. Friends with people I don't like
28. Stealing from you
29. Cover up my crime
30. You were in the way

82 Reason to Shoot Someone in Chicago (preview)

Here is a quick preview, reasons 20-30. The purpose of this article is to raise some awareness about the problem, not only Chicago is having but the rest of the country as well, gun violence and the astonishing increase of black on black homicides. I will write in detail about selected reasons that stand out to me if seem unique. Please all mature intelligent comments are welcome.

A Violent Perspective on the Influences of Violence

A man walks onto a college campus and randomly starts shooting students. After the horrific aftermath details of the investigation show that the person had large amounts of images of guns, anti-semetic literature, and photos of women being gagged tied and brutalized. A large archive of death metal music was also found.The person that did the shooting was young, white , and a member of a white supremacist group.
A man walks up to a Chicago street corner and starts randomly shooting random people. After the horrific aftermath details of the investigation show that the person had a large amounts of images of guns, anti-police literature, and photos of women being gagged tied and brutalized. A large archive of gangsta rap music was also found. The person that did the shooting was young, black, and a member of a large Chicago street gang.

Do you think the music we listen to has any influence on our actions?