Friday, October 20, 2017

Change Will Come



Change will come

Change is inevitable, rather you are for it or against it it will come. You have two options with change resist or accept. There is no grey area, no inbetween. Either you get on train or you get run over, but you can't stop change. Some people activate change, sometimes change comes like a thief in the night, and other times change is slow and apparent. Change can be beneficial or detrimental, change can be as soft and comforting as baby breathe or it can hit like a Tyson left hook, but it's there, always there, continual and relentless.
The most important fact about change is that it has an effect on everyone and everything in existence. If one person or thing changes it forces everything and everyone around it to change. Change forces adabtablity and submission. It infiltrates tangible object, emotions, nature, the very existence of the universe. Change is without doubt the most powerful force in existence. Can you think of anything that has more effect on everything in existence? Think about it like this, what happens if its a slight change in gravity, or if the sun changes temperature by the slightest degrees? What happens if the our universe has the slightest change in distance and time? Better yet, lets bring it closer to home. Global warming is a huge a topic right now, but why is that? Because of a change in temperature, not a large change, but slight. According to NASA (https://climate.nasa.gov/vital-signs/global-temperature/) in 1880-2016 the global land-ocean temperture index went from -.01c to .99c (c=celcius). That is a 1 degree temperture change. The result oceans rising, polar caps meltings , hurricanes, tsunamies, etc. So image if change decided to move in a more impactful way.


I see the effects of change from a more human perspective. Life changes causes a ripple effect throughout lives that cross race, gender, and borders. A child being born, something that is as human as breathing can disrupt entire populations. If that child was expected or unexpected, born exceptional, disabled, born in grief or great joy this change can be significant. The impact this child has on an individual, a community, a nation. This change could result in an Einstein, Steve Jobs, or a Bundy or Dahlmer. You see change doesn't bother with results, it doesnt care if you are prepared, change has no sympothy or empathy. Change does not consider your situation, it is not patient or caring, loving or compassionate. Only outside forces implement these things during change. But change doesn't care if you are rich or poor, male or female, one leg or two. Change is like the wind, forever moving and coming and going at will.

The hardest thing about change is ourselves and adabtabilty to change. Like I mentioned earlier we either resist or accept, activate it or let it come naturally. Those of us who resist change usually have it the hardest. These are the ones that are usally stubborn, frustrated, impatient, irratable, and most importantly miserable. They just can't get it through their heads that there is no way to stop it. They use every once of inner strength to push against change only to be bowled through or left behind. I see this most of all with friends and loved ones. When someone close decides to make a life change, eat better, lose weight, go back to school, get married start a family you know positive self changes. This kind of change can cause a significant rift in the ones around them. Why? Because usually that means that they have to change also. The person who decides to stop drinking forces the ones around them to change their social habits. Now they have to make a decison on the importance of having that martini or respecting their friend or loved one and not. What comes to mind is that group of guys that are long time friends and that initial reaction they have when one of the boys makes that dire annoucement that he is getting married. Why is there such heartbreaking, volatile intitial response from the fellas? It's because now they know they have to change also, no more late nights on the prowl, they have to change the concept that they come first. Especially if its a small tight group of friends, they are also forced to change the group dynamic. This could be met with reluctance at times, but only if those who are close to you are resisant to change.

So the question I often ask myself is am I willing to activate change, am I letting it just come, or am I resistant to change. No doubt there are differances in the three and with that also comes negative and positive results. What also has an effect is timing, what kind of change, and my mental makeup before and during the change which in turns has a significant effect on how I bear after change has occurred. Some change has left me battered and bruised, others have made me stronger and smarter. Change has given to me tremendously , and has also stripped me down to the bear minimum. Like I said before change doesn't care or wait wait for your preparedness. It has knocked me flat from a blindside right cross and it has lifted me to great heights and provided me a sense of accomplishment. In my life time I have seen change come rapidly and often, I have also seen it come slow and periodically leaving great grooves in my soul like the glacier that formed the Great Lakes. When I have activated change usually it has been for the positve attempting to alleviate some disfunction or callous in my life, but I will not ignore the times when I have activated change to insure disfunction and callousness. We all have. We spend times grudgefull and vindictive, regretful and judgemental, closed and neglectful, half hearted and lazy. Like peaks and valleys this is change. The level few use these changes to change for the better, becoming open and willing, loving and supportive, soft and accepting, true and defined. The ones I feel sorry for don't change for the good or the bad.

When you don't have negative and positive change then you are living on a plataeu. Plateaus are decieving, yes they are level and even but they are an island and surrounded by steep cliffs. You are either stuck in on place forever or you fall off the edge to a sudden and dramatic stop that without a doubt ends in excruciating pain or even death. Neither is an option that most ask for and want to live with yet we often find ourselves there or see others going in circles trying to figure out how to get down while continually resisting the change that will decend them from this place. Most of the time this is because we are unwilling to accept the change that has undoubtly swept through our lives. That change might have brought pain and hurt with it, lonliness and isolation, heartache, or change has forced us to look up from the bottom of a barrel. That's the beauty of change though, from that bottom place you can still change for the better, change your perspective, motives, strenght, and heart. Change can motivate something in us to fight through the downs and get up, head high, and move through the storm to feel the sun's warmth on our face. Change can move us swiftly towards optimism, insight, encouragement, fullfillment. Only if we are constantly on the look out for it and accept it with open arms. rather its good or bad change will strengthen us and teach how to get on the bus of continuum. We can let change carry us to places, and emotional depths that we did not know we had. And this, my friends, no matter how change will come, will benefit us until that day comes when we make that final change and transition from this life onto the next.

Change will come.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Excuses, Excuses

    Ex-cuse: (verb). An attempt to lessen blame attaching (to a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify.  
    Ac-count-a-bil-i-ty: (noun). A fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.

    In the wake of recent disturbances to the peace and well being of our way of life ( police brutality, mass shooting, prejudice and racist tirades, abuse of disabled, and urban violence) I have noticed a new disturbing trend, the lack of accountability and the list of excuses used to defend the before mentioned acts. No sooner than the news of something terrible happening news and social media outlets are lined with articles, short stories, memes, gifs, tweets, and posts about why a person did what they did, who is to blame (other than the person who actually committed the act), or my favorite, the comparison of the recent event to a past similar event and how the past event was worse or better, how the person who committed the past event got more or less punishment and how unfair it is to a certain group of people who hold certain beliefs to be true.
    Let me start by first making something very clear, I have little tolerance for excuses of bad decisions, especially the one that end up in loss of life or harm to someone. I have infinite patience for those who hold themselves responsible for the poor decision that results in loss of life of bodily harm. How every you feel about either is an individual preference and you have every right to that without question. My goal now is to try and provide some clarity to my thinking on the subject.
    The main reason why I have little tolerance for excuses is in the definition, the "seek to defend or justify" part. Before I get into that I guess I should start with what sparked this hold train of thought. There is a case right now going on in national media and without getting into to much detail, four young African American teens basically kid nap and tortured a  Caucasian Teen with some learning disabilities. They hold him over night, torture him in various ways, humiliate him while being racist, and had the smarts to post all of this on a Facebook video. Now what really burns my biscuits is that people have been making excuses for their behaviors by posting a pic of a young Caucasian teen who did the same thing to someone else (unsure at this time the age, race, and abilities of his victim) and stating that Caucasian teen charges were much lighter than the African American teens and this is unfair or not equal justice. I will agree that it is not equal justice, but the unfair part you can miss me with that. The charges that the A.A. teens received is exactly what they should get, if not harsher. The Caucasian teen should have received the same, this is unequal justice, but to excuse their behaviors because someone else had a lighter sentence is ridiculous to say the least. You can't minimize or deflect the responsibility of something so malice and cruel or ease the punishment because someone else got off easy. The first example that comes to mind is a couple of teenagers go drinking and get into a bar fight, they beat a guy, send him to the hospital, and end up going to jail. One teens has a high powered attorney and he manages to get only probation, a fine, and community service hours. the other kid gets a public defender and gets 1 year jail time plus 5 years parole. The one who got no jail time was Caucasian the one who did the time was Mexican. Unfair as it may seem where is there room for the excuse for their actions. You can argue the sentence and punishment but they both did the act.
    Some of our frustrations is misplaced. I understand the outrage when seeing someone get off easier than they should simply because of their entitlement and that entitlement is very often used as an excuse to justify their decisions to act criminally, and far to often does that excuse minimize their act. It still doesn't make it right and we should neither condone these justifications or (more importantly) try to use these excuses to justify the behaviors of our own peers and family when they act out in such similar and terrible manner. Cops shoots a person; "well he should of complied"; Teens torture a disabled kid; "why did his parents let him go unattended in the first place", man shoots up airport; "he was a terrorist", 82 people shot over a holiday weekend; "the community is oppressed", caught selling heroin; "they lack resources in our community", gang violence; "no funding for sports and recreation". Excuses, excuses, excuses.
    So what about accountability? How do we look these people in the eye and be empathetic to the causes to which lead them to their poor actions and still hold them responsible for the damage they have done? In my opinion it begins with acceptance. Let's accept the fact that something wrong has occurred, and accept that everything is not always simple to solve or punish. Each act is separate from the next and that each act should be treated as such. Being responsible as a society lies deeply in making sure that the person involved in the harm is held responsible. Yea, I know, if it was so easy the world would be perfect right, but the devil is in the details. To often do we turn a blind eye to intolerable acts simply because we share the same race, religion, title, or beliefs. No one likes a violent or aggressive cop but the ones who provide excuses for them usually is, knows, or has some close affiliation with cops, same with terrorist, racist, gangs, politics. etc.. We will continually provide excuses for our brothers and sister for the same acts that we would scream to the heavens how foul they are if someone of a different set of beliefs had committed them. This is our folly, our denial, our delusion, our excuse for continually not allowing someone to be accountable. I hope that if ever given the opportunity that you hold me to the highest form of accountability in the same way that I hope I can do the same for you. Maybe by simply being accountable for holding others accountable and not having an excuse for providing an excuse is all we need.