And So "It" Begins

And so “it” begins… The outrage, the anger, the sadness, the finger pointing, the justifications, turmoil, arguments, racist remarks, assumptions, and the violence. The question I have is; what is “it”? What is this that we are all apart of? No matter what your beliefs, color, culture. Socio-economic, sex, sexual orientation, etc. we are in the thick of “it”. “It” can begin like a gathering of clouds off the coast, we see “it” forming, we know “it” is coming, and we quietly begin to face the fact that “it’s” going to hit home and hit hard. So what is “it”?

To put “it” lightly, “It” is the truth walking right up to us and clubbing us over the head with a brick. “It” is that force, reality, that gorilla in the room that we have been ignoring. The scariest part of “it” is that “it” is you and me.  Yes, You and Me! I know some of you are unconsciously looking over your shoulder around the room with that, “Who me?” look on your face, Yes You.

We are “it”, this is the reality that we have created. Some of us will look it “it” with discontent, others will apply violence, some will play passive, others will run and hide, and only a few cooler heads will prevail. By our own selfishness we see the problem and apply justifications to why it exist instead of applying unselfish solutions to the problem.

“It” does not matter what side of the fence you are on good or bad, Muslim or Jew, for or against the Police, pro-choice or pro-life, Democrat or Republican when people die it’s a problem for everyone. Now, there is no doubt that there are just some bad people on this planet, but the good people far outweigh the bad. So when “it” starts brewing why does “it” seems that the bad in “it “always succeeds?

“It” might need a burning of a city to get us to face the reality of the storm that we have been ignoring for so long. “It” might be a way of telling us how unprepared we are for this type of storm, how our focus on petty disagreements kept us from focusing on how to prepare our family, homes, and selves from this type of storm. Now that the rain has begun we realize that we lack the tools, supplies, understanding, direction, and aptitude to weather the storm. So, our only option is to act in ways that degrade our human nature, belittle us, and lessen us as a people.

“It” is the racist remarks in victory and defeat, “it” is the looting and the violence to your own community, “it” is the death of a youth, the rape of a young girl, a terrorist act, the withholding of education, “it” can be a terrible thing.

“It” can also be that glimpse of hope, the uniting of a people, the passing of a law, and the feeding of the poor. “It” is peace, love, and understanding “it” is the honest judgment, a fair trial, justice, and equality. Let “it” begin, do not let “it” begin for the advancement of negativity, but let “it begin for the benefit of humanity.

A Theoretical Solution on How to Reduce Death and Incarceration in Street Gangs

  Let me start first by saying that I do not condone gang violence. Street gangs for the most part bring down a community. Where there are gangs, there normally exist a quarry of negative social and economic deficits. Of all of the issue that coincide with street gangs the two that stand out the most is violence and the high incarceration rate of young men of color.  Why and what causes gangs to exist is a different topic for a different day. When a problem exist I am not much for all the reasons why they exist, we can discuss the causes later, initially when I see a problem I just focus on the solution first. Solve the problem then work out the who what where and why, in others words, a drowning man doesn’t need you to explain to him why he’s drowning he just wants to be pulled out of the water. With that being said, I want to make a suggestion to all members of every street gang that might help solve both of these problems at simultaneously.

  Every gang has one or maybe a few people at the top who is responsible for making the calls on how the business runs. Now any smart person who has the responsibility of keeping a business going knows that death and incarceration is bad for business.  Considering the structure and nature of an illegal organization this kind of turnover is expected, but any good CEO knows to keep these numbers as low as possible. The two common factors that are the cost of these specific types of turnovers in an illegal organization are law enforcement and rival completion.  Too much fuzz or constant territorial wars not only hurt sells but it also puts a strain on recruiting, training, middle and lower management, etc.  As we have seen many of times, in not only fictional movies, but also the consistent news reports of drugs rings being busted and thousands of dollars in the hands of law enforcement. Alternatively, the unspoken reports of when a rival gang hits another gangs spot and the same dollars and products, again, are in the hands of the opposition.  It is needless to say that this is a common problem for every street gang across the board.

  So what is the solution? To me it’s pretty simply, but it takes the hardest thing available, trust. Many times we’ve seen two separate factions in the same photo with a banner stating some form of unity or truce. Usually these truce’s are short lived due to the erosion of trust. I should rephrase that to say these truce’s are short lived because both factions gone into the agreement having no true foundation to place their trust on. No platform that show both sides that at minimum they are on the same trajectory. When two people have deep divides but realize that they are walking towards the same goal its easier to trust in compromise. The goal for both is to run a successful illegal organization with minimal turnover from death and incarceration. I’m sure that they both would enjoy the success of knowing that they have members within the organization that have long tenure without being locked up and not having to kill any competition. Furthermore, the less killing between the competitions ensures less police involvement and safer less restrictive communities.

  The solution to all of this lies within the collective wealth of the gangs. Money is power, we know this, and collective money is almost indestructible. Look at the Catholic Church, the Jewish community, the World Bank Group, the Republican and Democratic parties, etc. They all have their own central premise, which is the pooling of collective wealth to secure the future health of their businesses or organizations. Now if you are a normal everyday Gang member or leader, maybe noting that the success of the mafia is also based in this premise.  Take the mafia for instance all of the families put a small percentage in a pool. This money is used for all sorts of purposes like opening up small businesses within their communities. Funeral services, weddings, kids college funds. Most importantly, if members had law troubles they all had good lawyers, which would assist in beating cases or getting lesser charges. One of the reasons why mob members never snitched was because they trusted that the organization was structured and funded well enough to support them in these situations. If they were locked up, when they returned home, the organization had money and businesses to help get them back on their feet. Some well-run mafia families have funds set aside to assist in family support for members who did time. So going in, a person knew he did not have to worry about his wife, his kids, and how they were going to pay the bills. Some would go even further and pay medical bills for unexpected health issues.

  For street gangs a money pool would do wonders for their image, business, and community.  Imagine if all the street gangs in a city like Chicago pool a percentage of their profits together for things like, college fund for members who major in finance or criminal law, business grants so that members and can open up legitimate business to help launder the illegal money, or putting school and or funding sports programs. To avoid conflict rival gangs can build safe zones and parks on territorial borders where citizens from both neighborhoods can congregate without fear for their safety.  You see, this not only will ensure the continual success of your organization, but also more importantly ease the negative effects that street gangs have on us personally and as a society on a whole.

  In addition, the power you would have over local and state government. The true power comes from the donations to political campaigns to sway politicians into voting on the legislation that you prefer. Think what gangs would look like if during the Reagans “War on Drugs” campaign if all the gangs in Chicago, L.A., N.Y., Miami, and Dallas pool their money together and donated to campaigns that were against this legislation. When the RICO Act was voted into legislature how many lives of gang members were destroyed and how many could have been saved if the gangs had organized their collective wealth and had their local and state representative’s vote against it. You add in the fact that street gangs have an added bonus in the bag, which is the believable threat of violence; the street gangs could have enormous weight within our political system.  You need proof, look at the American Mafia; they had tremendous weight in local and state governments due to their organized wealth and the whole “sleeping with the fishes” thing.

  Again, this is in no way an approval or acceptance of street gangs. Street gangs do not exist because of the people in them, they exist because of the socio-economic and educational deficits that exist in our black and brown communities. They will continue to exist until these deficits are filled. Until then the solution is to minimize the damage done by bringing down the death and incarceration rate that has been destroying our communities even before street gangs existed. Hopefully, opening up pathways that will show us a way out of our current state.

Change Will Come

Change will come

Change is inevitable, rather you are for it or against it it will come. You have two options with change resist or accept. There is no grey area, no inbetween. Either you get on train or you get run over, but you can't stop change. Some people activate change, sometimes change comes like a thief in the night, and other times change is slow and apparent. Change can be beneficial or detrimental, change can be as soft and comforting as baby breathe or it can hit like a Tyson left hook, but it's there, always there, continual and relentless.
The most important fact about change is that it has an effect on everyone and everything in existence. If one person or thing changes it forces everything and everyone around it to change. Change forces adabtablity and submission. It infiltrates tangible object, emotions, nature, the very existence of the universe. Change is without doubt the most powerful force in existence. Can you think of anything that has more effect on everything in existence? Think about it like this, what happens if its a slight change in gravity, or if the sun changes temperature by the slightest degrees? What happens if the our universe has the slightest change in distance and time? Better yet, lets bring it closer to home. Global warming is a huge a topic right now, but why is that? Because of a change in temperature, not a large change, but slight. According to NASA (https://climate.nasa.gov/vital-signs/global-temperature/) in 1880-2016 the global land-ocean temperture index went from -.01c to .99c (c=celcius). That is a 1 degree temperture change. The result oceans rising, polar caps meltings , hurricanes, tsunamies, etc. So image if change decided to move in a more impactful way.


I see the effects of change from a more human perspective. Life changes causes a ripple effect throughout lives that cross race, gender, and borders. A child being born, something that is as human as breathing can disrupt entire populations. If that child was expected or unexpected, born exceptional, disabled, born in grief or great joy this change can be significant. The impact this child has on an individual, a community, a nation. This change could result in an Einstein, Steve Jobs, or a Bundy or Dahlmer. You see change doesn't bother with results, it doesnt care if you are prepared, change has no sympothy or empathy. Change does not consider your situation, it is not patient or caring, loving or compassionate. Only outside forces implement these things during change. But change doesn't care if you are rich or poor, male or female, one leg or two. Change is like the wind, forever moving and coming and going at will.

The hardest thing about change is ourselves and adabtabilty to change. Like I mentioned earlier we either resist or accept, activate it or let it come naturally. Those of us who resist change usually have it the hardest. These are the ones that are usally stubborn, frustrated, impatient, irratable, and most importantly miserable. They just can't get it through their heads that there is no way to stop it. They use every once of inner strength to push against change only to be bowled through or left behind. I see this most of all with friends and loved ones. When someone close decides to make a life change, eat better, lose weight, go back to school, get married start a family you know positive self changes. This kind of change can cause a significant rift in the ones around them. Why? Because usually that means that they have to change also. The person who decides to stop drinking forces the ones around them to change their social habits. Now they have to make a decison on the importance of having that martini or respecting their friend or loved one and not. What comes to mind is that group of guys that are long time friends and that initial reaction they have when one of the boys makes that dire annoucement that he is getting married. Why is there such heartbreaking, volatile intitial response from the fellas? It's because now they know they have to change also, no more late nights on the prowl, they have to change the concept that they come first. Especially if its a small tight group of friends, they are also forced to change the group dynamic. This could be met with reluctance at times, but only if those who are close to you are resisant to change.

So the question I often ask myself is am I willing to activate change, am I letting it just come, or am I resistant to change. No doubt there are differances in the three and with that also comes negative and positive results. What also has an effect is timing, what kind of change, and my mental makeup before and during the change which in turns has a significant effect on how I bear after change has occurred. Some change has left me battered and bruised, others have made me stronger and smarter. Change has given to me tremendously , and has also stripped me down to the bear minimum. Like I said before change doesn't care or wait wait for your preparedness. It has knocked me flat from a blindside right cross and it has lifted me to great heights and provided me a sense of accomplishment. In my life time I have seen change come rapidly and often, I have also seen it come slow and periodically leaving great grooves in my soul like the glacier that formed the Great Lakes. When I have activated change usually it has been for the positve attempting to alleviate some disfunction or callous in my life, but I will not ignore the times when I have activated change to insure disfunction and callousness. We all have. We spend times grudgefull and vindictive, regretful and judgemental, closed and neglectful, half hearted and lazy. Like peaks and valleys this is change. The level few use these changes to change for the better, becoming open and willing, loving and supportive, soft and accepting, true and defined. The ones I feel sorry for don't change for the good or the bad.

When you don't have negative and positive change then you are living on a plataeu. Plateaus are decieving, yes they are level and even but they are an island and surrounded by steep cliffs. You are either stuck in on place forever or you fall off the edge to a sudden and dramatic stop that without a doubt ends in excruciating pain or even death. Neither is an option that most ask for and want to live with yet we often find ourselves there or see others going in circles trying to figure out how to get down while continually resisting the change that will decend them from this place. Most of the time this is because we are unwilling to accept the change that has undoubtly swept through our lives. That change might have brought pain and hurt with it, lonliness and isolation, heartache, or change has forced us to look up from the bottom of a barrel. That's the beauty of change though, from that bottom place you can still change for the better, change your perspective, motives, strenght, and heart. Change can motivate something in us to fight through the downs and get up, head high, and move through the storm to feel the sun's warmth on our face. Change can move us swiftly towards optimism, insight, encouragement, fullfillment. Only if we are constantly on the look out for it and accept it with open arms. rather its good or bad change will strengthen us and teach how to get on the bus of continuum. We can let change carry us to places, and emotional depths that we did not know we had. And this, my friends, no matter how change will come, will benefit us until that day comes when we make that final change and transition from this life onto the next.

Change will come.

Excuses, Excuses

    Ex-cuse: (verb). An attempt to lessen blame attaching (to a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify.  
    Ac-count-a-bil-i-ty: (noun). A fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.

    In the wake of recent disturbances to the peace and well being of our way of life ( police brutality, mass shooting, prejudice and racist tirades, abuse of disabled, and urban violence) I have noticed a new disturbing trend, the lack of accountability and the list of excuses used to defend the before mentioned acts. No sooner than the news of something terrible happening news and social media outlets are lined with articles, short stories, memes, gifs, tweets, and posts about why a person did what they did, who is to blame (other than the person who actually committed the act), or my favorite, the comparison of the recent event to a past similar event and how the past event was worse or better, how the person who committed the past event got more or less punishment and how unfair it is to a certain group of people who hold certain beliefs to be true.
    Let me start by first making something very clear, I have little tolerance for excuses of bad decisions, especially the one that end up in loss of life or harm to someone. I have infinite patience for those who hold themselves responsible for the poor decision that results in loss of life of bodily harm. How every you feel about either is an individual preference and you have every right to that without question. My goal now is to try and provide some clarity to my thinking on the subject.
    The main reason why I have little tolerance for excuses is in the definition, the "seek to defend or justify" part. Before I get into that I guess I should start with what sparked this hold train of thought. There is a case right now going on in national media and without getting into to much detail, four young African American teens basically kid nap and tortured a  Caucasian Teen with some learning disabilities. They hold him over night, torture him in various ways, humiliate him while being racist, and had the smarts to post all of this on a Facebook video. Now what really burns my biscuits is that people have been making excuses for their behaviors by posting a pic of a young Caucasian teen who did the same thing to someone else (unsure at this time the age, race, and abilities of his victim) and stating that Caucasian teen charges were much lighter than the African American teens and this is unfair or not equal justice. I will agree that it is not equal justice, but the unfair part you can miss me with that. The charges that the A.A. teens received is exactly what they should get, if not harsher. The Caucasian teen should have received the same, this is unequal justice, but to excuse their behaviors because someone else had a lighter sentence is ridiculous to say the least. You can't minimize or deflect the responsibility of something so malice and cruel or ease the punishment because someone else got off easy. The first example that comes to mind is a couple of teenagers go drinking and get into a bar fight, they beat a guy, send him to the hospital, and end up going to jail. One teens has a high powered attorney and he manages to get only probation, a fine, and community service hours. the other kid gets a public defender and gets 1 year jail time plus 5 years parole. The one who got no jail time was Caucasian the one who did the time was Mexican. Unfair as it may seem where is there room for the excuse for their actions. You can argue the sentence and punishment but they both did the act.
    Some of our frustrations is misplaced. I understand the outrage when seeing someone get off easier than they should simply because of their entitlement and that entitlement is very often used as an excuse to justify their decisions to act criminally, and far to often does that excuse minimize their act. It still doesn't make it right and we should neither condone these justifications or (more importantly) try to use these excuses to justify the behaviors of our own peers and family when they act out in such similar and terrible manner. Cops shoots a person; "well he should of complied"; Teens torture a disabled kid; "why did his parents let him go unattended in the first place", man shoots up airport; "he was a terrorist", 82 people shot over a holiday weekend; "the community is oppressed", caught selling heroin; "they lack resources in our community", gang violence; "no funding for sports and recreation". Excuses, excuses, excuses.
    So what about accountability? How do we look these people in the eye and be empathetic to the causes to which lead them to their poor actions and still hold them responsible for the damage they have done? In my opinion it begins with acceptance. Let's accept the fact that something wrong has occurred, and accept that everything is not always simple to solve or punish. Each act is separate from the next and that each act should be treated as such. Being responsible as a society lies deeply in making sure that the person involved in the harm is held responsible. Yea, I know, if it was so easy the world would be perfect right, but the devil is in the details. To often do we turn a blind eye to intolerable acts simply because we share the same race, religion, title, or beliefs. No one likes a violent or aggressive cop but the ones who provide excuses for them usually is, knows, or has some close affiliation with cops, same with terrorist, racist, gangs, politics. etc.. We will continually provide excuses for our brothers and sister for the same acts that we would scream to the heavens how foul they are if someone of a different set of beliefs had committed them. This is our folly, our denial, our delusion, our excuse for continually not allowing someone to be accountable. I hope that if ever given the opportunity that you hold me to the highest form of accountability in the same way that I hope I can do the same for you. Maybe by simply being accountable for holding others accountable and not having an excuse for providing an excuse is all we need.

Post Election Thougts

This Presidential election has drawn some strong lines in the sand when it comes to who and how  "Americans" want this country to be run. Especially after the biggest surprise since the Cubs winning the world series, Trump becoming the 45th President of the U.S.. What we have seen from all sides is a lot blaming, name calling, protest, violence, tears, and cheers. People have turned away from friends, family, and co-workers because of who one or the other chose to support. My question is why are we so angry or happy this time around? What makes this election seemingly so much more emotional to so many people than in previous elections. Even when President Obama was running to become the first African American President, I know their was outrage and elation on both sides, but I don't recall it being as visceral.
     When I say visceral I mean that in the literal since. Visceral loosely means more focused on emotion than intelligence. First of all let's be honest, I am speaking directly to all those who are so offended by Trump becoming the new President. Especially to White American's that just can't believe Trump was elected, well let's take a good hard look at this. Out of the 45 Presidents, I will eliminate 2 and give you a Mulligan on the 3rd, Obama, Clinton, and possibly Bush #2, except for those three EVERY AMERICAN PRESIDENT WAS BIGOTED, MISOGYNISTIC, SEXIST, ELITIST, OLD, RICH, and WHITE (as I write this I realize I was wrong, add Clinton and Bush which makes the total 44 out of 45)!!!!! Why are you so surprised that Trump was elected? I mean you guys are really surprised and I find that funny because it seems as if you totally forgot about the other 43 presidents that are a carbon copy of the current presidential elect. You are now, but why not before? Where was the outrage when the Reagan administration was destroying as many minority families as the Jim Crow era? Where was the outrage win Bush one and two helped privatized prisons make millions off citizens? I won't even get into any President before 1980.
     As for the Minority Americans and Immigrants, rich racist white men are to the presidency as the UConn women's basketball program is to women college basketball. In other words they will go on a ridiculous win streak, you might get 1 every so many years, but they will keep on winning. For example, let's start at Washington (1789-1797) rich racist white men all the way up to Lincoln (1861-1865) we got a break on the whole slavery thing. Then from Lincoln rich racist white mean until 2008, I will give you some slack for Bill Clinton (1992), that's it! From 1860 until 1993 all you got was freedom from slavery. My point, this is what America is, a country with great freedoms, and rights that were written and designed by rich old racist white men for their demographic. Their only struggle is how to exclude everyone while trying to make us feel like we are included.
     I think the shock is that Trump is so bad at concealing the image of someone who gives a damn, where as we are used to candidates feeding us the B.S. sweetened with honey, Trump just gives us the 1960's I'm white, I'm rich, I'm a man, so I have earned this. Which effects different groups in different ways.
     First, for White American that were against Trump, I get you don't want to be labeled in the same bag as that guy. You live in diverse communities, urban areas. You have plenty of minority friends and co-workers and you honestly don't have a bigoted bone or sexist bone in your body. Where you fell is that 100% know that oppression, segregation, sexism, etc. exist in this country yet 99% of you do absolutely nothing about. You are active in the community, schools, state, or country at a grass roots level working to eliminate these things. You vote and you say "well I'm active because I voted against the bad guy" but that's not enough and you know. And if you didn't know you know now because of how the rest of the White Americans voted. Which brings me to my second point.
    To all the White Americans that voted for Trump kudos to you. You recognized that you took a loss with 2 Obama terms and made sure that American tradition stayed in tact. Trump reminded you what American freedom is truly about, being able to live the great White way without having to worry about all these different minority groups and women to worry about. You organized and did what you have always done which is out smart us at the polls and get the right person for the job for you. Him being racist didn't matter because he is a rich white man, derogatory attitude towards women, well that's what rich white men allowed to do, right? Don't pay taxes, not prove your wealth, openly racist, unpredictable, narcissistic, under qualified, well that's ok because he is rich, he is white, and he's a man.
     For Minority Americans we have been exposed as lazy, unorganized, and uncaring. How many times have I heard "It don't matter who is in the office, they don't care about us. nothing that they do applies to me" yes this might be true, but the fact is 99% of us are not active in the voting process that do determine what will effect us. How many of you can name your local alderman, mayor, treasurer, states attorney, judges, sheriffs, congress person, or senate representative. These people make decisions based directly on how you vote. Your local taxes, laws, schools, park district programs, jobs, housing, businesses are all determined by these people. So when I hear " I don't vote because it doesn't apply to me", cringe at the out right stupidity of such a statement.
     I mean we didn't even have a 100% turn out when Obama was running, now that should tell you something. This is also what hurt the democratic party. They assumed we would come out and vote like we did for Obama, but why we would come out to vote for people who are representations of the elitist class when not even 50% of the minority population came out when we had a minority representative. This is a huge problem for us, we have fallen and continue to fall for one of the great tricks of white supremacy, to continually think that are actions will be futile. Every time we have a chance to make significant change we get bombarded with this myth, only when we go past this and continue to take action do we see our true power, and this is really what they fear the most, us organized, working together, building coalitions, unifying different groups. The Majority has relinquished way more power than they wanted to and they will not give us anymore and will do their best to take back what we have struggled to achieve and maintain. Our job is the continual pursuit of equality, to pry away some of that power and resources to even the playing field.
     My final thought is that I have no problem with the outrage and the elation from either side. I play a lot of sports and I understand stand that sometimes your opponent is just bigger and stronger than you and can't change that. What you have to do is figure out a way to win regardless of who your opponent is, if they are bigger than be faster, if they a faster then slow them down, if they are stronger beat them with sound fundamentals, but their tendencies, have a solid defense, make sure your team is unified and every one has their eyes on the same goal. The game of life is for keeps, no overtime when the buzzer sounds the game is over. Play to win.

I've never felt safe

      Never have I utter the words "thank God the Police are here", I've never felt comfortable when I looked into my rear view window and saw a police car behind. Never felt a sense of comfort or safety while standing in a public area and police are around. When I find out a person is a cop I immediately create distance. Even if I thought the person was nice before I found out they were a police officer.
      Some have the privilege of safety, I don't. If my son is acting up and I call for help, myself or my son could be killed. If I have car trouble and go knock on a neighbors door for help I might get killed. I was almost arrested for looking suspicious, what was I doing, suspiciously taking my pregnant girlfriend to the hospital to deliver my now 26 year old daughter. Yes, he pulled his weapon on me. I have no one to serve and protect me. If I am speeding, make an illegal lane change, don't put on my seat belt I could be shot and killed. Never have I felt safe. Walking or running away can get me killed you see. I can be handcuffed on the ground,  bleeding, beaten, and still be considered a threat and killed. I've never felt safe.
       I could be left to die unattended and alone in a jail cell, I've never felt safe. You might feel safe, but I don't. I live in a community and state of predators, and I am the prey. I've never felt safe. I could comply, kneel with my hands in the air and be killed. I've never felt safe. Everyday I look into the eyes of people who want to kill me. I have to see them at the high school football game, in the grocery store, at the park, when I walk my dog, when they drive by I stop what I'm doing and take a protective stance in front of my family, I've never felt safe.
       When they approach me I cringe, my pulse rate increases, my pupils dilate, its fight or flight, why, because I've never felt safe. I have to take part of my earning to pay the salary of those who impede on my safety, I have to stand to a flag that says I have to show respect for those who rob me of my safety. If I speak up about feeling unsafe, my life is threatened by those who I said make me feel unsafe. Not directly but they will not make an effort to not protect me the way they protect others. They will be slow to respond when I am in an unsafe situation, but quick to respond if they see an opportunity to trample on my safety, ironically to prove a point that I should feel safe around them. There communication with me is harsh, language laced with profanity, demeaning, and shows lack of patience and empathy, I've never felt safe. How do you feel? Safe?

Not Normal Behavior

You ever get into an argument or disagreement? Not any regular argument, I mean you and the person/people are pissed, name calling, threats, others are separating you to avoid a physical altercation. Better yet, ever get into a physical fight with someone? I know I have, being young, full of pride and ego, feeling like I had to protect my rep. I won a few and lost a few. What did you do? Did you walk away and let bygones be bygones, take your lumps and live to see another day. Maybe you did the unthinkable and managed to talk to your enemy and come to some kind of mutual understanding? If you did then you are weak!
Every fight I have ever been involved in I, either right there on the spot or returned later, pulled out my gun and did my best to shoot and kill the person I had the confrontation with. If I didn't have a clear shot I would shoot any way. Some times I shot and killed innocent men, women, and children. My friends would make sure I got away with the crime by helping me provide an alibi, hiding the murder weapon, or giving me a place to lay low. My girlfriend would remain loyal knowing I am a stone cold killer. My family is the realest! They know I carry a gun, they know my friends do the same, they see flash my signs and read my tattoo that reps my city and my gang.
You see, I often post on Facebook and twitter pics of me with a lit blunt in my mouth, shirt off, in one hand a .45 glock semi-auto and the other hand a rubber band roll of 20 dollar bills, with my lady in a bra and thong bent over so the whole internet can see her goodies. You understand that this is the only way a real man should live.
I am actually starting a record label called " Shoot Ni%&as, Slap Bitches, Sell Dope Records" my group name is "We Kill Our Own" with our first single and official video "Yea I Shot Your Baby". WGCI will have it on heavy rotation just on time for the 4th of July fire works.
What's not normal is those of you don't live like this or understand those that do. I can't help it if you are scared to bust shots, if you soft and too afraid to squeeze the trigger on your enemy and rep you block. A real man ain't afraid of getting locked up or being killed. I tell my little N$gga (my son), I named him Thug N%gga Jr., "always remember to keep it real". Teach him how to cut the dope, load the clip, and to have no love for hoes. So he can grow up to be a man.
Any other way is not normal.

Sadly,I'm Smiling on the Inside

To shoot and kill someone in cold blood is an awful thing. It takes a special kind of rage to act out such vengeance. This is nothing to be proud of, even if the act of vengeance is due to the repeated abuse and murder of one's own people. I know this, I am a morally responsible person, so why do I feel the tug of satisfaction  when I hear that 2 police officers were gunned down while sitting in there vehicle by a man who stated it was in retaliation for recent police killings of unarmed Black men? I know its wrong yet I am not sad, disappointed, or feel enraged by this act of violence. Murder is murder there is no justification in such an act but, the hard truth is I wanted payback, I wanted the police to feel that sting that we feel all to often. In the dark recesses of my mind I image the gunman not killing himself, as this one did, but instead calmly calling in shots fired, waiting to be arrested, then 8 weeks later hearing the announcement that the shooter with not be prosecuted and acquitted of all charges.
The Police are enraged over this incident, blaming the media's lack of discretion and bias when describing officers, how the judicial system has felled them, and leaving them wondering if the system is designed to protect them or leave them helpless in the hands of those who view and treat them as a threat.
Maybe this is why I'm smiling on the inside because I know now they understand how it feels to be gunned down because of what clothes you are wearing or what color or culture you represent. Maybe I'm smiling because they now know how it feels to be us. Looking at city officials for a solution and getting back excuses and BS explainations.
I'm not smiling because to men are dead, I am smiling because I know now they know what it feels like to have someone say "show restraint", "trust the system", "justice will be served", and my favorite, "the defendant deserves due process and is innocent until proven guilty".
My smile is knowing that they have now put on our shoes and have to walk in them for a few miles. The only thing that I am disappointed in is that the shooting wasn't video taped by an innocent by stander and played continuously over a course of several weeks so the family have the distinct pleasure of reliving their loved ones death over and over again.
To the families of the slain officers God Bless You.
To the Police Departments across the country, did you honestly think that everyone would simply turn the other cheek? Welcome to our world.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/2-cops-ambushed-fatally-shot-in-car-gunman-kills-himself/ar-BBh3g1E
http://m.youtube.com/?client=mv-verizon-us

My Personal Experiences with the Police

Me and a buddy are in front of a friends house talking to a woman we knew while she was parked in her car. I was standing on the street side of the car leaning in the window as she was giving us a wedding invitations. A cop drives by, stops, reverse back to us, gets out of his car, and without saying a word slams me up against the hood. I knew what he was thinking so I say "I'm not selling anything!" He says " yea, right". He finds nothing and out of frustration arrest me for obstruction of traffic. Charges were later dropped.
Coming out of a club in Milwaukee, as I am crossing the street with about 50 other people, a police officer gets on the loud speaker and orders everyone out of the street. I comply, but being in the middle of the street I continue to cross. Cop puts me in cuffs, curses, disrespects me, pushes me around a little, then let's me go.
I got pulled over for having a headlight out. Cop takes one look at me and says "where is the bud?" I say " please don't start with the bull". He asked me to step out of my vehicle, I asked " am I being detained?". He tells me no but I wants you to perform a field sobriety test. I tell him " no, but I will gladly take a blow test". He threatens me with jail, so I comply, at the same time his partner goes in my car for the illegal search. They find nothing and let me go. The funny thing is they never frisked me, if I did have anything on my person (which I didn't) they sure dropped the ball.
  Had an argument with my girl late one night, police were called. First responder is calm and respectful, as I calmly explained the childish behavior we were exhibiting, another officer pulls up walks right up to me and starts trying to intimidate me, it does not work, he puts me in cuffs and violently put me in the squad car, I'm arrested and booked in. The morning I show up to court to find out I was being charged with domestic violence. After 5 continuations, the judge would not provide me a public defender the first 3 times, once, he didn't like my outfit, and the other was because the prosecutor had no arrest record or formal charges! On the 6th appearance the prosecutor tells the judge "I have no idea why this young man is here all I have is a Domestic violence charge but no witness or officer statement." They then ask my Lady, who was on court in court with me, if I hit her, threatened her or anything that could draw a case, she tells them without a doubt no!! That's when the prosecutor asked to dismiss the case, the officer gets up and storms out, and the judge stands up and starts yelling at the prosecutor about how he has wasted court time and state money!! Yea he actually stood up and started yelling, you could here a pin drop. The public defender looks at me and tells me I'm free to go. I was afraid to move, in fear of being tackled and cuffed by the bailiffs ( you just can't make this stuff up). My lawyer convinces me its OK so I walk out of the court room. The arresting officer is waiting for me in the hallway. He walks up to and says "I will see you again!" My response " only if you show up to your mommas house after 10". I could literally see the smoke coming out of his ears.
The police, abusive? Yes. Aggressive? Yes. Remorseful for their corrupt and harmful ways? No.
The thing is I have about 10 more personal experiences that all come out the same way, and I'm just one man. Imagine how many instances we all have collectively....this is why there is such a divide between the police and the public they are sworn to protect. They do not always uphold that oath.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h2YgZX9Thm0

My first experience with the Wu-Tang Clan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uv03vgZf18
Today I had the pleasure of letting my head nod to the new release of the Wu-Tang Clan's "A Better Tomorrow", 21 years after having my first experience with this dynamic group of emcee's.  The great thing about music is that really good music places this stamp on memory that is permanent. The same as certain sights, smells, and touches trigger ancient memories that we might have thought was long buried within our own subconscious. Good music triggers memories, rather good or bad, that we have no control over they are just there.
In 1993 I had just turned 18 and was attending my first year of community college at College of Lake County. Now, most of the student population would sit out in the general gathering area inside the main building playing cards, telling jokes, and listening to music while we decided if we were going to class that day. Of course the topic of the group I hung around with was usually girls or music. On this particular day I can vividly remember it was sunny and pleasant. My boy Mike B. comes up to me and was like "Tremayne, how do you like that new crew Wu-Tang Clan?" I kind of laughed thinking to myself that what kind of wack crew would name themselves after a kung-fu movie? He could tell what I was thinking and gave me that look like, I know you claim to be a B-Boy and you haven't heard this yet, ya' slippin'. So he simply said, "this is the best sh*t I have ever heard!"
(For all you younger heads out there the next few sentences might not make much sense to you, but you older heads will relate to this.).
So I say to him "let me borrow your tape?" He gives me this look like, Hell No! See back then loaning a cassette tape was a risky scenario, give your cassette tape to some one with a wack radio, you run the risk of the tape being eaten "never put me in ya box if ya shi*t eat tapes" (Nas, "N.Y. state of Mind), or worse you never see that person again. If it wasn't for the fact that he understood my respect for music and the laws of borrowing tapes, he would have never let it go down. So the condition was simple, He had class for an about 1 and a half hours, that's all the time he could give, again raising my curiosity, because he was like this tape is like gold right. The problem was I also had class, so how would I be able to listen to the tape? Only one option, that's right, skip class and listen to it in my ride.
I stroll to my car, unlock the doors, get in, key in the ignition, pop the tape in, hit rewind, and I sit back expecting who knows what. For everyone that has heard the "Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)" album the first thing you here is that infamous Wu-tang sample:
"Shaolin shadow boxing, in the Wu-tang sword style...If what you say is true the Shaolin and the Wu-Tang could be dangerous. Do you think your Wu-Tang sword can defeat me... en guard I will let you try my Wu-Tang style" Then the that first 8 bars kicks in followed by, to me, only the second best lyrical intro to an album next to Nas' intro on the classic "Illimatic" album.
" Ghostface, catch the blast of a hype verse, my glock burst
leaving a hearse, I did worse
I come rough, tough like an elephant tusk
Ya' head rush, fly like Egyptian musk..."
Immediately, I am in full shock and awe over the precise lyrical content, razor sharp terminology, and the sheer genius of the production.
No where in my thought process could I have imagined 20 years later I would be getting that same feeling from the same group of emcee's while sitting in my car. The truth is that I was hooked from the beginning and thanks to the persistence of these great artist, after 2 decades and numerous solo and group projects I am still a fiend for this raw, spiritual, street based sound that the Wu has consistently beat into my ear drums. They have unknowingly created a sound track to some selective memories that swell up in my head every time I bump some Wu. I hope that you have the same connection and memories associated with an art form that impacts you in a positive way, the way Hip-Hop has impacted myself and so many others around me.
Bring the Muthaf*ckin Ruckus,Bring the Muthaf*ckin Ruckus!!!

The U.N. Recognizes the Brutality of the Police

    "We express concern at the reported current police violence in Chicago, especially against African-American and Latino young people, and deep concern at the frequent and recurrent police shootings or fatal pursuit of unarmed black individuals," said Alessio Bruni, a member of the panel and a lead investigator in the review of U.S. compliance with the 1984 Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment. The U.S. ratified the 156-member-country convention in 1994.

      For those who might say that the grand jury finding in the Michael Brown case gives justification that people of color in this country are embellishing the truth about how we are treated by the police, An independent U.N. anti-torture panel thinks that that  "This (U.N.) report — along with the voices of Americans protesting around the country this week — is a wake-up call for police who think they can act with impunity," said Jamil Dakwar, the director of human rights at the American Civil Liberties Union.
      In other words, these riots and others like them happen because of the peoples growing frustration of the Police departments view, judgment, and treatment of people of color.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/us-shootings-by-police-prison-conditions-trouble-un/ar-BBg6VEw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D336fH5D34M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUNoXR434r0

One of my favorite Emcee's getting busy over a DJ Premier track. Drop me some links to some new fresh freestyles if you got 'em!

Reason #7 Different Gang Affiliation

    Before I get into this what I first must do is go over what is the purpose of a gang. Kids just don't get together and say " Hey let's start a violent street gang!". Gangs are formed for basically 2 reason; money and protection. The protection part usually has to do with a group of kids who are in a neighborhood that doesn't except there presence. History shows that in Chicago the first street gangs were formed by neighborhood kids who were being harassed or "beat up" for walking on the wrong side of the tracks. Example, Spanish and black street gangs in Chicago started partly because these kids needed protection from other neighborhood kids so they would form a sort of union agreeing that they would not let any other person come into there neighborhood and terrorize them. Then there is money. Once these same kids, usually from poor communities, realized that by taking advantage of the significant drug problems that usually comes along with leaving in a poor community, that they could make a good profit. Now, I realize that this is not all the reasons why gangs exist but that is a conversation for another day.
     The problem comes into play when your gang starts selling your drugs in my neighborhood. The concern isn't about this person killing my community, but more of you are cutting into my profit margin. The evil in this is that it is usually the gang elders that send the commands and set the rules for how each corner is handled and the young ones who are on the front lines of the violence. This is why you rarely see men over the age of 25 that are killed or wanted for the homicide charge. Usually the older gang members get caught up on trafficking charges or running a criminal organization.
The fact that these elder gang members arm these young kids with weapons that weigh more than the kids do shows how little they care about their so called"family".
     Think of it like this; you have a kid brother, you love this kid and you want to protect him, teach him how to be smart, how to be a man, how to survive in this rough world. The way you teach him this is by being independent, how to earn for himself. So you say "come here little brother, let me show you how it's done.". You then teach him how to way cocaine, transform it into crack rocks, how to hide it, and where to stand to sell the most product. You then give him a gun and you tell him to shoot anyone that we have not agreed to sell on this corner. Now, you never taught him how to use the gun, you never explained to him how to use restraint. So what happens? He see some new kid he never seen before on his corner and POW! Unfortunately he misses his target and shoots the 8 year old girl playing double dutch (my Midwest peeps know what this is). Turns out the kid he was aiming for was just new to the neighborhood, this kid old neighborhood had a gang that was bigger and stronger than yours. The kid is also smart and he recognizes your kid brother. He calls up a couple of his homeboys from his old block and they come through drive by style, they roll down your street with an automatic weapon. In the aftermath your cousin, a friend, the old lady down the street is shot dead. Your kid brother escapes but is later arrested for the murder of the eight year old girl. You in a rage get your boys and go to the other neighborhood and unleash your fury in the same fashion on their block. Now the back and forth begins, you shot someone so they join the other gang to come after you. They miss you shoot someone else, you recruit that person and so on and so on.
      My gang was the Phulisch Mortals, we didn't shoot our enemies, instead we would have break dancing battles and rap battles. I would do my best to disrespect you in the worst possible way through dance and poetry, and someone would attempt to do the same thing to me and boys. The difference is after totally disrespecting this other person, he and never had to worry about retaliation by fist or guns. Remember the scene in "BeatStreet" when the two rival gangs ran into each other in a subway station? All the innocent people running for their lives only to be confused by the boom box and the sudden start of break dancing. This is how all gang conflicts should be solved, if you lose you would have to go home and work on better dance moves or improve you vocabulary in order to deal with a person like me who could freestyle over any instrumental while ridiculing you. I never looked over my shoulder, more importantly the kid I was "battling" never had to either. We might even see each other on the street and give each other a hand shake and hug. Gangs have a hip-hop back ground, I don't know any kid in a gang that listens pop music or country or anything other than hip hop. So the gangs should act in a hip hop manner expanding peace, cultural awareness, spirituality, diversity, and knowledge of self. Not death, sex, drugs!

Reasons 20-30

20. Step on my Shoes
21. Dancing with my girl
22. We fight and I lose
23. We and I win
24. Road Rage
26. You embarrassed me
27. Friends with people I don't like
28. Stealing from you
29. Cover up my crime
30. You were in the way

82 Reason to Shoot Someone in Chicago (preview)

Here is a quick preview, reasons 20-30. The purpose of this article is to raise some awareness about the problem, not only Chicago is having but the rest of the country as well, gun violence and the astonishing increase of black on black homicides. I will write in detail about selected reasons that stand out to me if seem unique. Please all mature intelligent comments are welcome.

A Violent Perspective on the Influences of Violence

A man walks onto a college campus and randomly starts shooting students. After the horrific aftermath details of the investigation show that the person had large amounts of images of guns, anti-semetic literature, and photos of women being gagged tied and brutalized. A large archive of death metal music was also found.The person that did the shooting was young, white , and a member of a white supremacist group.
A man walks up to a Chicago street corner and starts randomly shooting random people. After the horrific aftermath details of the investigation show that the person had a large amounts of images of guns, anti-police literature, and photos of women being gagged tied and brutalized. A large archive of gangsta rap music was also found. The person that did the shooting was young, black, and a member of a large Chicago street gang.

Do you think the music we listen to has any influence on our actions?

Is it the music?

I woke up in a new Bugatti, no wait, All my n**gas look rich as f$%k, no wait, I like my kisses down low, no ...wait for it, I put that p**sy in face I ain't got no problems!. This is the best you are going to get on the number 1 station of hip-hop in Chicago. This is what we hear all day in rotation. Now picture this; four young black men get in a car, inside that car they lock and load a various amount of hand guns and drive off. They drive a few blocks turn up the radio and it's a Shania Twain song. They lean out the window and start shooting at rival gang members.
Does this sound right? No it doesn't. You talk to any person that is gang affiliated and I'm sure Christian gospel rap is not on their playlist. More than likely they have some form of rap music that includes the glorification of living in poverty, the perspective of a street dealer or king pin, the bragging of ones jewelry and cars, and of course the mack daddy pimp rhymes. I recently went to a Too Short concert, I am sure I told a couple people about this, but I had to shake my head at the reaction of the women in the crowd. Let me back track a little, Too Short is a west coast rapper how has had a long and luxurious career based off his use of one word, B*tch. He says it with such enthusiasm that women actually say it along with him while shaking their tail feathers. How many of you fellas have a tattoo across your stomach? Now ask yourself honestly did Tupac have influence on that decision? Our behaviors our influenced, in a sense, by what type of music we listen to.
Let take a moment for a little common sense analyses, being from Chicago I was raised on WGCI 107.5 fm. If you go to their website, wgci.com, and look at their first 100 songs on their playlist see how far you get before you find anything that doesn't involve sex, guns, or money. I would challenge you to find the first song that doesn't mention one of the three in the very first one or two lines. Violent crimes and crimes against women have consistently increased or remained the same here in Chicago, and every black that lives in the Chicago area has at one point in time listened to WGCI for an extended period of time at some point in their lives. For a lot of us this is the only radio station we listen to. So is it safe to say there is a correlation? Make no mistake, these radio stations play this type of music because of us. We must like it because these songs are played about 10 times a day, most of the time at high volume. If wanted something different they would play it.
The fact of the matter is the music we listen to influences us heavily. If you listen to gospel all day you will be more inclined to react in a gospel way. If, you listen to someone speaking French all day, you will learn French. If you listen to someone saying they pack pistols, tag bust downs, push weight, is not afraid of prison, has diamonds, and wakes up in Bugatti's guess what you are going to do?
The lie is this, how many people you know actually lives like that? I'll answer that for you, none, and if you do know someone with all the things that are described on any of the first 40 songs on WGCI's playlist, remember that's them not you. You need a job, you need an education, you need to be a productive citizen for your community, you need to a strong supportive example for the rest of your family so I suggest you turn up the radio on something that is going to get that, instead of Jesus piece, sex, and a tear drop tattoo.

Is it us?

We kill each other, no doubt about it. Probably more than any race on this planets. Blacks, Africans, African American, or whatever the description, if you are of a dark skin race you know about death against your own people by your own people. Now I don't live in Africa, I am an American black so I can't speak for why these things go on over seas, but I can speak about what goes on over here, even though I'm sure that the reason's for the violence are similar.
Why is it that so many of our brothers and sisters find them selves in a position where they kill their own kind? Is it just our nature? I mean let's talk honestly, slavery might not have been such a problem if early African's hadn't mastered the process and taught the rest of the world the good old tricks of the trade. If you have doubts, I do believe Moses lead the Hebrews out Egypt, which is in Africa. We have a long history of slaving, selling, and killing our own kind. So, do we have the genetic make-up of a highly intelligent genocidal people? I say highly intelligent because our history also includes every major change and advancement in civilization since beginning of man, therefore I have know doubts we know what we are doing, we see what's going on, and we can intelligently process the information given. But for some reason we have the piece of us that excepts this on going crisis.
You can sit back and look at every other culture and race on this planet and see that they don't kill each other off at such a high rate.
My personal opinion is that we have become so desensitized to suffering and death that we no longer have the normal appalled reaction when own of us is slain by one of our own, and that is the scariest part of the problem for me. Why aren't we up in arms searching, not only for the person who committed the crime, but also for change, for solutions, for safety, and piece of mind. The ability to rest without worry when my 15 year old sons hangs out on his neighborhood corner on a summer night.
My last opinion about this might make a few of you angry but I'm going to say it anyways. We are weak, spineless, and cowardly. Now I really don't believe this but our behaviors have me leaning in that direction. In other culture crimes against your own people is dealt with swiftly and harshly, and the smart cultures make the family responsible for the punishment. This means if someone in your household commits a crime against your people you better handle it or the people will handle you and who ever did the crime. In some parts of the world if a family kills someone they charge the family for funeral cost, hospital bills, and the cost of ammunition if the police have to use deadly force. You know we do, march, have a picnic, tattoo RIP Huggy Bear on our stomach. The thing we hardly ever do is address the problem directly. Confront the pink elephant in the room that might be someone you love.  How many times have we been in the same room with the problem and done nothing. That goes for all of us, Grandmas, Grandpas, Fathers, Mothers, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters. Now, for those of you who do and have done something we need you to do it again and again, for those of us who have done nothing it time for us to get off the bench and get in the game your people need you.

The Truth Is

The truth is I have a cousin that was gunned down on a Chicago street corner another that was found dead. I have two friends that were murdered face down on the ground execution style, another was stabbed to death another was shot dead in his house. My father and brother both spent extended time behind bars along with quite a few of my close friends and family. You would think that this would be an uncommon occurrence for one person who was born in Chicago right? Wrong!

The truth can be a hard pill to swallow, it’s hard to look in the mirror and stare right into the eyes of the problem. I’m talking about myself. I take the blame for the murder rate in Chicago and around the country. It’s my fault, I could have done something, no correction, I should be doing something. I am the one that sits in my house, knowing what I know and having looked at what I have seen, and say oh how horrible these kids dying every day yet, when the news goes off I go about my day as if nothing has happened.

The truth is that I ignore the problems that directly affect me. I pretend like they don’t but they do. My image is perceived as cautionary, aggressive, and sometimes dangerous. When I turn on the TV I see them mock me in commercials using my strengths to sell their products and my weaknesses to steer you clear of the bad things. The movies, they portrait me as the urban tough guy or the over top funny man. They will pay me to run and jump but if I want to advance in the workplace I have to assimilate to the company image. I am perceived to come from the “hood” and live a “ghetto” life style. When people greet me they feel to need to say “wuz up homie” and give me the knuckle bump instead of a hand shake. I accept this image. In fact, I flaunt it.

The truth is I know several people who are gang affiliated. I know several people who sell drugs. I know people who have addiction problems. I just turn a blind eye, I see them on a regular basis but I never address the elephant in the room. When less fortunate things happen to them I place all of the blame on them.  I go to church, but I only bring my immediate family. Some people you just can’t help and I don’t like to waste my time. I worked too hard to get where I am at to have to deal with someone else’s problems. They should know better anyway.

The truth is if I say something then others my view me as a “hater” or soft. I could be labeled a snitch o r sellout; I have enough problems of my own. The truth is it’s just not worth it, no matter how many of my peers are gunned down in their youth, no matter how many children die. The truth is I don’t have the time, no matter how many young men are locked up in the system, no matter how many children  are left motherless and fatherless. The truth is your drug addiction, whatever “set” you are claiming, how many guns you tote, how many b**ches you have, how much weight you sell, how big your rims are, how expensive your car and jewelry are does not apply to me.

The truth is I will wait until the problem affects me directly, then I will scream a battle cry and ask, why haven’t we addressed the problem? When the things I take for granted are torn from my hands, only then will I shout injustice. Until then the truth is I will do nothing.

"The Chronic" goes platinum

On March 24th 1993 the RIAA certified+ "The Chronic" by +Dr. Dre platinum, solidifying the G Funk era.Released on Dec. 15th  1992 by the now infamous +Death Row Records and distributed by +Priority Records. With singles like +"Nuthin but a "G" Thang, +F*ck Wit Dre Day, +Let Me Ride and the introduction of +Snoop Doggy Dogg the face of Hip-Hop was changed forever, but how did the popularity of being a "G", sipping on gin and juice, and that west coast gang appeal affect the rest of the country?