Never have I utter the words "thank God the Police are here", I've never felt comfortable when I looked into my rear view window and saw a police car behind. Never felt a sense of comfort or safety while standing in a public area and police are around. When I find out a person is a cop I immediately create distance. Even if I thought the person was nice before I found out they were a police officer.
Some have the privilege of safety, I don't. If my son is acting up and I call for help, myself or my son could be killed. If I have car trouble and go knock on a neighbors door for help I might get killed. I was almost arrested for looking suspicious, what was I doing, suspiciously taking my pregnant girlfriend to the hospital to deliver my now 17 year old daughter. Yes, he pulled his weapon on me. I have no one to serve and protect me. If I am speeding, make an illegal lane change, don't put on my seat belt I could be shot and killed. Never have I felt safe. Walking or running away can get me killed you see. I can be handcuffed on the ground, bleeding, beaten, and still be considered a threat and killed. I've never felt safe.
My daughter could be left to die unattended and alone in a jail cell, I've never felt safe. You might feel safe, but I don't. I live in a community and state of predators, and I am the pray. I've never felt safe. I could comply, kneel with my hands in the air and be killed. I've never felt safe. Everyday I look into the eyes of people who want to kill me. I have to see them at the high school football game, in the grocery store, at the park, when I walk my dog, when they drive by I stop what I'm doing and take a protective stance in front of my 6 and 8 year old, I've never felt safe.
When they approach me I cringe, my pulse rate increases, my pupils dilate, its fight or flight, why, because I've never felt safe. I have to take part of my earning to pay the salary of those who impede on my safety, I have to stand to a flag that says I have to show respect for those who rob me of my safety. If I speak up about feeling unsafe, my life is threatened by those who I said make me feel unsafe. Not directly but they will make an effort to not protect me the way they protect others. They will be slow to respond when I am in an unsafe situation, but quick to respond if they see an opportunity to trample on my safety, to prove a point that I should feel safe around them. There communication with me is harsh, language laced with profanity, demeaning, and shows lack of patience and empathy, I've never felt safe. How do you feel? Safe?
