Sadly,I'm Smiling on the Inside

To shoot and kill someone in cold blood is an awful thing. It takes a special kind of rage to act out such vengeance. This is nothing to be proud of, even if the act of vengeance is due to the repeated abuse and murder of one's own people. I know this, I am a morally responsible person, so why do I feel the tug of satisfaction  when I hear that 2 police officers were gunned down while sitting in there vehicle by a man who stated it was in retaliation for recent police killings of unarmed Black men? I know its wrong yet I am not sad, disappointed, or feel enraged by this act of violence. Murder is murder there is no justification in such an act but, the hard truth is I wanted payback, I wanted the police to feel that sting that we feel all to often. In the dark recesses of my mind I image the gunman not killing himself, as this one did, but instead calmly calling in shots fired, waiting to be arrested, then 8 weeks later hearing the announcement that the shooter with not be prosecuted and acquitted of all charges.
The Police are enraged over this incident, blaming the media's lack of discretion and bias when describing officers, how the judicial system has felled them, and leaving them wondering if the system is designed to protect them or leave them helpless in the hands of those who view and treat them as a threat.
Maybe this is why I'm smiling on the inside because I know now they understand how it feels to be gunned down because of what clothes you are wearing or what color or culture you represent. Maybe I'm smiling because they now know how it feels to be us. Looking at city officials for a solution and getting back excuses and BS explainations.
I'm not smiling because to men are dead, I am smiling because I know now they know what it feels like to have someone say "show restraint", "trust the system", "justice will be served", and my favorite, "the defendant deserves due process and is innocent until proven guilty".
My smile is knowing that they have now put on our shoes and have to walk in them for a few miles. The only thing that I am disappointed in is that the shooting wasn't video taped by an innocent by stander and played continuously over a course of several weeks so the family have the distinct pleasure of reliving their loved ones death over and over again.
To the families of the slain officers God Bless You.
To the Police Departments across the country, did you honestly think that everyone would simply turn the other cheek? Welcome to our world.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/2-cops-ambushed-fatally-shot-in-car-gunman-kills-himself/ar-BBh3g1E
http://m.youtube.com/?client=mv-verizon-us

My Personal Experiences with the Police

Me and a buddy are in front of a friends house talking to a woman we knew while she was parked in her car. I was standing on the street side of the car leaning in the window as she was giving us a wedding invitations. A cop drives by, stops, reverse back to us, gets out of his car, and without saying a word slams me up against the hood. I knew what he was thinking so I say "I'm not selling anything!" He says " yea, right". He finds nothing and out of frustration arrest me for obstruction of traffic. Charges were later dropped.
Coming out of a club in Milwaukee, as I am crossing the street with about 50 other people, a police officer gets on the loud speaker and orders everyone out of the street. I comply, but being in the middle of the street I continue to cross. Cop puts me in cuffs, curses, disrespects me, pushes me around a little, then let's me go.
I got pulled over for having a headlight out. Cop takes one look at me and says "where is the bud?" I say " please dont start with the bull". He asked me to step out of my vehicle, I asked " am I being detained?". He tells me no but hr wants yo perform a field sobriety test. I tell  " no, but I will gladly take a blow test". He threatens me with jail, so I comply, at the same time his partner goes in my car for the illegal search. They find nothing and let me go. The funny thing is they never frisked me, if I did have anything on my person ( which I didn't) they sure drop the ball.
Had an argument with my girl late one night, police were called. First responder is calm and respectful, as I calmly explained the childish behavior we were exhibiting, another officer pulls up walks right up to me and starts trying to intimidate me, it does not work, he pits me in cuffs and violently put me in the squad car, I'm arrested and booked in. The me y morning I show up to court to find out I was being charged for with domestic violence. After 5 continuations, the judge would not provide me a public defender the first 3 times, once he didn't like my outfit, and the other was because the prosecutor had no arrest record or formal charges! On the 6th appearance the prosecutor tells the judge " I have no idea why this young man is here all I have is a Domestic violence charge but no witness or officer statement." They then ask my Lady, who was on court in court with me, if I hit her, threatened her or anything that could draw a case, she tells them without a doubt no!! That's when the prosecutor asked to dismiss the case, the officer gets up and storms out, and the judge stands up and starts yelling at the prosecutor about how he has wasted court time and state money!! Yea he actually stood up and started yelling, you could here a pin drop. The public defender looks at me as tells me I'm free to go. I was afraid to move, in fear of being tackled and cuffed by the bailiffs ( you just can't make this stuff up). My lawyer convinces me its OK so I walk out of the court room. The arresting officer is waiting for me in the hallway. He walks up to and says "I will see you again!" My response " only if you show up to your mommas house after 10". I could literally see the smoke coming out of his ears.
The police, abusive? Yes. Aggressive? Yes. Remorseful for their corrupt and harmful ways? No.
The thing is I have about 10 more personal experiences that all come out the same way, and I'm just one man. Imagine how many instances we all collectively....this is why there is such a divide between the police and the public they are sworn to protect.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h2YgZX9Thm0

My first experience with the Wu-Tang Clan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uv03vgZf18
Today I had the pleasure of letting my head nod to the new release of the Wu-Tang Clan's "A Better Tomorrow", 21 years after having my first experience with this dynamic group of emcee's.  The great thing about music is that really good music places this stamp on memory that is permanent. The same as certain sights, smells, and touches trigger ancient memories that we might have thought was long buried within our own subconscious. Good music triggers memories, rather good or bad, that we have no control over they are just there.
In 1993 I had just turned 18 and was attending my first year of community college at College of Lake County. Now, most of the student population would sit out in the general gathering area inside the main building playing cards, telling jokes, and listening to music while we decided if we were going to class that day. Of course the topic of the group I hung around with was usually girls or music. On this particular day I can vividly remember it was sunny and pleasant. My boy Mike B. comes up to me and was like "Tremayne, how do you like that new crew Wu-Tang Clan?" I kind of laughed thinking to myself that what kind of wack crew would name themselves after a kung-fu movie? He could tell what I was thinking and gave me that look like, I know you claim to be a B-Boy and you haven't heard this yet, ya' slippin'. So he simply said, "this is the best sh*t I have ever heard!"
(For all you younger heads out there the next few sentences might not make much sense to you, but you older heads will relate to this.).
So I say to him "let me borrow your tape?" He gives me this look like, Hell No! See back then loaning a cassette tape was a risky scenario, give your cassette tape to some one with a wack radio, you run the risk of the tape being eaten "never put me in ya box if ya shi*t eat tapes" (Nas, "N.Y. state of Mind), or worse you never see that person again. If it wasn't for the fact that he understood my respect for music and the laws of borrowing tapes, he would have never let it go down. So the condition was simple, He had class for an about 1 and a half hours, that's all the time he could give, again raising my curiosity, because he was like this tape is like gold right. The problem was I also had class, so how would I be able to listen to the tape? Only one option, that's right, skip class and listen to it in my ride.
I stroll to my car, unlock the doors, get in, key in the ignition, pop the tape in, hit rewind, and I sit back expecting who knows what. For everyone that has heard the "Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)" album the first thing you here is that infamous Wu-tang sample:
"Shaolin shadow boxing, in the Wu-tang sword style...If what you say is true the Shaolin and the Wu-Tang could be dangerous. Do you think your Wu-Tang sword can defeat me... en guard I will let you try my Wu-Tang style" Then the that first 8 bars kicks in followed by, to me, only the second best lyrical intro to an album next to Nas' intro on the classic "Illimatic" album.
" Ghostface, catch the blast of a hype verse, my glock burst
leaving a hearse, I did worse
I come rough, tough like an elephant tusk
Ya' head rush, fly like Egyptian musk..."
Immediately, I am in full shock and awe over the precise lyrical content, razor sharp terminology, and the sheer genius of the production.
No where in my thought process could I have imagined 20 years later I would be getting that same feeling from the same group of emcee's while sitting in my car. The truth is that I was hooked from the beginning and thanks to the persistence of these great artist, after 2 decades and numerous solo and group projects I am still a fiend for this raw, spiritual, street based sound that the Wu has consistently beat into my ear drums. They have unknowingly created a sound track to some selective memories that swell up in my head every time I bump some Wu. I hope that you have the same connection and memories associated with an art form that impacts you in a positive way, the way Hip-Hop has impacted myself and so many others around me.
Bring the Muthaf*ckin Ruckus,Bring the Muthaf*ckin Ruckus!!!